Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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