He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
this is an emotional support booty call
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
