So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
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