tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
