God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Of course I have a pirate flag
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
