She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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