One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
