Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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