he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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