just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
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