Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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