I hope mine doesn't look like that
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
