I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
