I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
