well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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