Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
