if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
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