I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
