Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I just want nice things and good sex
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
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