How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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