Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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