He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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