i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
