i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
