His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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