I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
