Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
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