You smell like a Billy Joel song
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
