I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
