let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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