He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
