your parents love me but you hate me
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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