I puked a lego.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
