On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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