I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Randomize
