When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
