My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
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