I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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