a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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