She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
