i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
