Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
So squirting runs in the family.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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