I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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