looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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