I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
