i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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