So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize