why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
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