Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize
