Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
