Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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