oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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