She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
