apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
