My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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