i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I need to stop coming to work sober
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
