a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
πππ what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud π³
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize