I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
look no pants
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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