508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
